MR. (it asked me for my title)

Here's a picture of Charles Muster,.. 'cause I used the word "muster"

Today is just not working for me,... not really sure what it is. Honestly, I've been down and out for a while. I can muster up the strength to fill my body full of caffeine and nicotine so that I can go to work, but once that's over I just wanna crawl into a ball. I'm not entirely sure what my deal is,... I've been trying to sketch some stuff out and try new things and all it leads me to believe is that I don't really know how to draw anymore. That, or the possibility that I never really could. I'm probably being a bit too harsh. I just feel embarrassed by myself lately. I'm not really doing anything that grants that, but I dunno. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I feel, I hate that I'm not doing anything worth anything. I've been hiding myself inside my house ignoring phone calls like some kind of weirdo. What if I never accomplish any of the things that I want, what if I never find the perfect girl. I'm even scared to talk to or hang out with my friends for fear that I'm being boring, stupid, or whatever. I think my spirit's broken and I have to take it until I'm fed up. I always seem to climb out of these things, but god damn it sucks while your down in it. I just hope I'm not a failure. I can see that other people see something in me, I just can't seem to grasp or understand it. What a downer of a post.... Sorry about that, nothing magical is happening at the moment. This fall depression shit is down right terrible,... Somethings gotta give I'm sure,... I just feel all alone right now. Eh, I'll get over it,... Ugh.