Bar Post

I'm sitting at the bar drinking alone. I can't believe how many posts I've made in the last couple of days that I've deleted because I thought I was being a baby. I might talk to her tonight and I'm afraid of how crushed I'm going to feel. The one thing I've realized through this whole time alone is this. Sure we had a rough start, and it's not always easy. What is? I was the happiest when I was with her. I'd finally seriously moved on because of the amazing person they she was. Sure I complained because there were things I wasn't happy with, but I was actually happy. I can see that now that it's gone. It's weird how you can take it for granted, but if it disappears,... you definitely know how you felt. If other people didn't like it, they were right to do so. It was more my fault because I was so frustrated. But I was also too scared to say what I needed and what I meant to fix it. I'm here hurting now because I did this too myself. I'd give anything to take it back. I'd give anything to make it work, but I'm afraid it's too late for that. I lose something great because I was too afraid to do what it took to fix it. I lost you and I'm sorry, 'cause I'm paying for it now. Congratulations Jeremy, you actually got the exact opposite of what you wanted, and now you're alone.